A big, Humongous love letter

You know when you think of a friend, or someone, really often?  And you think to yourself - I should reach out to them and see how they're doing, set up a coffee date to get together and actually be a part of eachother's lives.  But then time goes by, you don't reach out and talk to them.  They'll come up in your thoughts several times, but at that point it feels like you've seen and talked to them cause you think about them so often.  But you don't take action to actually reach out and engage with them.

Long story short - engaging and getting together is REALLY good.  Just, GOOD.  I always walk away feeling GOOD, and engaged, and GOOD, and happy.

God, I'm sorry I haven't actually reached out in a pure, genuine, one-on-one coffee date type of way lately.  I know you know you've been there in my heart, but sometimes it seems like only when text goes to computer screen that I really, really, really engage.  That my prayers, praise, and heart fully come through.

I want to THANK You, so very much.  There have been so many ups and downs.  Really dark, deep downs.  Some days I feel so lost, so alone, so helpless, unsure, and unhappy.  Where I feel like I need so much.  So much hope.  Direction.  Encouragement.  And amounts of forgiveness for my lack of faith so large I'm sure it will never be enough.

But then.  Oh.  My.  Oh.  My.  How You remind me.  Child, come to me.  Trust in me.  We are out of tissues, so you need to stop crying now.

It is going to be more than OK.  Yes, there will definitely be times where you feel lost, not confident, alone.  There always will be.  But I use those times - I dish them out because 1) I know you can and will get through them 2) they will draw you closer to Me and 3) through those trials, you will have the opportunity to be a light like no other to those I put in your path and in your story.  You can LOVE people, and love on them, and show them a light amongst the darkness that only I could give you.

Today I have heard the word divorce.  A scary word that I don't even come close to fully understanding or being able to relate to.  How do you comfort someone?  I've been confided in about feeling torn, and lost, in business ventures.  And then a friend ring shopping and celebrating that promise and hope.

But Lord, in the midst of my tearing, flailing body and spirit.  You give me everything I need and more, more than I can comprehend and appreciate at the moment.

Today - these glimmers of hope and insight - fills my tank and reminds me ... I am a child of an enormous, life-giving, forgiveness-giving God that is the Giver of Life, now and for eternity - a giver of Salvation.

May your praise ever be in my heart and on my lips.

I will fail again, a lot, and not come to You first, not seek Your heart and guidance.  I will forget or my own wishes and 'plans' will be put first.  But just as I'm learning in business - it is good to fail, and fail fast, so that you can move on and keep trying different approaches and methods until something works.  With life, You are teaching me that You are Always the answer.  Always the way.

Thank you for the love story that makes this love letter possible.  The biggest, best one.  Thank you for always being here for me, through everything.  And in everything, pulling me closer to better know, love, and live out the best thing that made me, has ever happened to me, and will be with me forever, into eternity.

This is a long, rambling love letter about a love so great that no amount of thank yous will ever be enough.  How lucky am I?  Thank you for giving me a love of loving.   May my number one job ever be to Love - You, Others, and to share Your love with those that don't know it (YET).

<3 <3  <3