It's been... 7 months since I was baptized. That seems like such a short time considering it changes the rest of your life.
And I think. Has it changed my life? I'm still the same person. I know I feel changed.. but how, exactly? I still make the same mistakes. In church lingo, I still struggle with the same sins. I'm still me.
But I think the biggest difference... is God being with me. It sounds obvious. But at the core, I think that is really the best way to describe it. I think it has something to do with extending your perspective. Thinking eternally and long term- forever. Which makes you realize you're one little tiny spec in the whole universe that has been given the opportunity to live the life God has given you. To be happy with where you are, right here, right now, because if you are downtown New York, the suburbs of a city, in a remote village in Africa, in snowy Russia, in the jungles of Costa Rica, you can be with God. Because his Grace and Love is with you no matter where you are.
I think it has something to do with prioritizing differently. It changes the way you make decisions. It changes the way you view relationships. It changes how you spend your time. The things you care about and the things that bother you.
God's grace and spirit comes and goes for sure. You know, like some days you have terrible hair days, and some days you wish would last forever cause your hair is just perfect.. soft and it lies just perfect no matter what. Hmm.. correlation with relative humidity? Anywho.
When it comes to my relationship with God, it really feels so rich and so minimalist at the same time. Like those days that I feel God's presence and it feels like He is teaching me something or blessing me... so awesome. I'm really glad I write them down. It is seriously encouraging to re-read those experiences. Sometimes I am even in awe.. and they happened to me.
And, at the same time, my relationship seems minimalistic. Which in my mind is really cool. Maybe cause I'm totally a fan of keeping things to the basics. Not lacking in complexity or richness, but rather, so strong and clear and evident on what is really at the core -at the center - the foundation. God, Jesus. Experiencing His presence. Learning to learn from him. To accept Him. To love Him. To seek Him. To listen.
I'm pretty sure I would be a TERrible Sunday school teacher. It almost always bothers me how few facts and stories I know about the Bible. I try a lot to read the Bible, to learn the history. I don't know why, but there's still a pretty big disconnect between the words on the page and my heart. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I think I worry too much about it cause when I think of the Bible and the history, I get intimidated at this big overwhelming box of questions and facts that it is in my mind.
The sermon the guest speaker at the Well gave last weekend was so encouraging. The theme of the message revolved around this:
"God wants you to know Him more than he wants you to know all the answers to all your questions."
I think that is THE coolest thing about getting baptized, becoming a Christian, or however you want to define it. That when you meet God, Jesus, you can accept Him. You invite Him in. You say: God, You are my Creator, the Creator of the Universe, of life, of EVERYTHING we see around us, everything we experience, of good and bad, day and night, summer and winter. And, with all that is going on in the world, You want to Know us? You want to bless, love, protect me? You want to be with me, forever, as I walk this one gorgeous life you created and planed for me?
REally??
And the beautiful thing is, you can accept that love and grace, peace and joy.
<3 <3 <3
Thank you for being my Creator, my Savior, my companion, my rock, protector, and everything in between
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